Aileen Wuornos

“How is she? Is she a good girl?”

My friend inquired about Niya, my college mate who just dropped by, to borrow a book from me. My reply to her was a tender smile which wasn’t meant to connote any inner meaning. It was a plain, transparent, honest and genuine smile. My mind rolled back three years when it was my first day at college.

Not a single face did I previously know. Everyone was totally new to me. When my dear parents returned after dropping me at the college hostel, a horrifying alienated atmosphere of solitude crept into me. My eyes welled in no time and my breath wasn’t anymore in my control. I was literally weeping. Very soon a group of girls encircled and appeased me in the beginning and made fun later. I thought they were my seniors. But in next to no time I realized that I was going to share the coming three years of college hours with those lovely buddies. The newness brought more freedom and choice. I liked it. Among them was Niya, about whom my friend wanted to know –good or bad. She came to me like an angel, both at hard times and joyful ones. I admired her multitude of qualities with a sense of acceptance. I saw no flaw in her. Almost immediately my ‘intelligence’ accepted her under the class of good people, with many others.

A week or two passed by. The ones who were bad as per the intellectual listing by my mind, turned even more unbearable. Silly Quarrels and ridiculous clashes tagged on – from word war to cold war. Bad turned ‘baddest’ and good turned ‘gooddest’. And I was the proud, content, brainless girl with the head held excessively high. Oh that me!

Chances and circumstances began to take a drift. Things started to take a different dimension. With this, characters were entering another level of self-expression. With diverse circumstances I noted varied reactions.  I found it extremely difficult to deny my mind’s presumptions and prejudices. What was perceived began to gradually fall apart as I never anticipated. My understanding of people took another course. This girl’s brain experienced terrifying pressure as people moved here and there between the good and bad categories. The girl who had shone with wisdom and charm earlier, barked at me like a street dog. Those monster-like girls, whom we called morons, touched my heated heart with their wet palm, making it a peaceful den of virtues and a breeding ground for humanity.

With the passage of time, a new season dawned. I received it with great anxiety and empty mind.  It was again a huge shift in personalities and characters.  Many who had left the ‘good’ category entered the old space over again. Many went back to the bad and people changed positions vigorously. Conclusion was something impossible – I learned.

Today my mind has only one group – human. And everyone falls under this on my mind. There may be terrorists, human gods, angels, priests, rapists, molesters and saints. I believe only in circumstances which build a man. I would have killed those seven men had I been brought up in life-situations of  Aileen Wuornos. If  Nick Broomfield could reveal the good face of a serial killer like Wuornos through his clinical and expressive documentary (The life and death of a serial killer), how can we hate or dislike one another. There is no one–word description for a man. Understanding a man or studying characters by continuously observing him is only possible at a peripheral level. The hub of every man is wisdom and love. Let us love peace and unity, learn to forgive and accept everyone as they are. Love all, spread peace! Nothing bigger was held inside my smile.

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